Shabbat HaGadol

Yesterday was Shabbat haGadol, the Sabbath before Pesach. I went to the Conservative synagogue for services Saturday morning. Much to my surprise I was asked if I would lead the Shacharit part of the service. I gladly accepted that honor.

As I have mentioned in the past, I am being taught many cantorial techniques. I have been practicing these and trying to incorporate them into all of the pieces that I have learned, not just the High Holy Days material that I am learning now.

The end result is that I was told by the Rabbi, the Schliach Tzibur (their cantor) and several of the regular congregants that had heard me before that this was the best that they had ever heard me do. I found this to be quite interesting as I was not satisfied with it. I made a couple mistakes which apparently they did not catch. On the walk back to my apartment I was talking to the cantor, who lives not far from me, and told her that I had actually switched tunes at one point after starting a piece because nobody was singing along. She had not noticed that I did that, but the congregation joined in immediately after I made the change.

The entire experience was a great honor for me, and I am grateful for it in several ways.

First, by itself it is an honor to lead a service, ANY service. Second, it is a special honor to lead on Shabbat haGadol.

The most important reason is that I had started to doubt myself and if what I was doing was really G-d’s will for me. I had felt a separation from Him and could not feel His presence as I had since arriving in Israel in June. I have no doubt that this was self imposed and I have been praying about it since January. While walking to shul I prayed for Him to give me a sign if this was what He wanted.

 I believe I got my answer.

The rest of the day was absolutely beautiful. I sat outside for a while on our balcony, just listening to the birds sing and feeling the warm sun on my face. It was mostly quiet except for the birds and the occasional meow of one of the local feline residents. This afforded me the opportunity to thank HaShem for His answer, His support, the beautiful day that He gave us and many other things.

All-in-all, Shabbat haGadol was a marvelous day for me, and I wanted to share some of that joy with you.