Friday afternoon was time to clean for Shabbat. It seemed that everything slowed down as the whole city was preparing. Most businesses are closed on Friday so traffic overall was much lighter that I have seen during the week.
On Friday night I went to a Shul about a block and a half from the apartment. As I was walking I saw no cars at all on the road, which is usually busy. It was an odd experience in that there were no familiar melodies and, the truth be told, not really any melodies at all. Before the service started there was basically nobody talking at all. Most of the other men were sitting around reading newspapers.
After services I had a nice Shabbat dinner with my flat mate and spent the evening relaxing.
Saturday morning I and was once again struck by the lack of traffic. During the walk to The Great Synagogue, which took about 20 minutes, I saw only 4 cars on the road.
While I felt at home at The Great Synagogue, again there was very little to no conversation before services. There was a guest Hazzan and the choir was also singing. The Hazzan was marvelous, having a tenor voice as smooth as silk. While the choir was also very good, the combination turned the morning into more of a performance than a participatory service. There were portions of the service that had familiar, but slightly different, melodies and some that were brand new to me and that I hope to learn.
I must admit that when I heard the Hazzan start to sing, combined with the environment I was in, it at first made me question what right I have to be here and to aspire to be a Hazzan. Thoughts like “Who do you think you are?” and “What makes you think you can do this?” crept in. Those doubts were removed during the Amidah when I added my own prayers and sought help and guidance from Hashem. I guess it is “normal” to have doubts like that, but the speed at which they were removed just serves to prove to me once again that I am on the path that Hashem wants me to follow.
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